“Possession is not love. Control is not protection. Obsession is not passion.”
When we think of toxic relationships, our minds often turn to women as the victims and men as the aggressors. But reality—raw, disturbing reality—is far more complex. The recent Meerut case, where Saurabh Rajput was murdered by his wife Muskan Rastogi and her friend, is a grim reminder that toxicity, manipulation, and violence are not gender-specific.This isn’t just another crime story. It’s a wake-up call—to re-examine how we define love, control, and the dangerous silence we keep around unhealthy relationships.
A Case That Shocked the Nation:
On March 4, 2024, Saurabh Rajput, a young husband from Meerut, was found murdered. Investigation revealed that the crime was allegedly orchestrated by his wife, Muskan, and her friend. While the full legal truth is still unfolding, what became clear was this: there was deep emotional dysfunction, possible manipulation, and a breakdown of trust long before the murder.
This case disrupted the standard narrative. It reminded us that men, too, can be victims of emotional abuse, psychological control, and even fatal violence in intimate relationships.
Possessiveness Has No Gender
The core issue here isn’t masculinity or femininity—it’s control masked as love.
Toxic relationships often begin with subtle signs:
Emotional blackmail, excessive jealousy, surveillance, isolation from friends and family. These are not romantic gestures; they are red flags.
According to a 2019 study by the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS), 1 in 5 Indian men in urban areas have experienced psychological or emotional abuse in a relationship. The numbers are likely underreported due to the stigma surrounding male vulnerability.
When Society Glorifies Toxic Love
From Bollywood to social media, we’re fed narratives that romanticize obsession. A man who follows a woman everywhere is “deeply in love.” A woman who monitors her partner’s every move is “just protective.”
These portrayals blur the line between affection and abuse. We never taught our youth how to recognize healthy love, but we’ve saturated them with dramatized versions of possessive, controlling relationships.
Emotional Abuse is Still Abuse
Whether it’s a woman isolating her partner from his family, or a man gaslighting his girlfriend into submission—abuse is abuse. And it escalates. Sometimes it ends in psychological trauma. Sometimes, like in Saurabh’s case, it ends in death. Let’s stop assuming the victim’s gender. Let’s start identifying the signs.
🚩 Common Red Flags in Any Toxic Relationship:
* Excessive jealousy or accusations
* Demands for passwords, call logs, location sharing(In the name of Transparency or any other reason not justified)
* Guilt-tripping over independence or social life
* Threats of self-harm or suicide to manipulate* Verbal abuse masked as “honesty” or “concern”
The Silence Around Male Victims
Society often fails men who are emotionally trapped. They are told: “You’re a man, you’ll handle it.” “Don’t complain like a victim.” “Real men don’t get manipulated.”
This silence is dangerous.
It pushes male victims into shame, self-doubt, and isolation.
These growing numbers of such cases should spark a national dialogue—not just about partner violence, but about the emotional health of both genders.
The Real Solution: Emotional Literacy
We need to go beyond gender and focus on relationship education.
Teach adolescents:
How to identify manipulative behavior, the difference between affection and control, the value of boundaries and mutual respect, that seeking help is strength—not weakness.
Workshops in schools and colleges, mental health support, and community conversations are vital. NGOs like Men Welfare Trust and MAVA (Men Against Violence and Abuse) are slowly gaining ground, but more support is needed.
Final Thoughts:
Let’s Not Wait for the Next Headline
If we’re serious about preventing relationship-based crimes—whether the victim is male or female—we must address emotional abuse, possessiveness, and the societal narratives that glorify control.
Dear readers, love should never feel suffocating. If it does—it’s not love. It’s time we all learn to identify toxic patterns before they escalate into tragedy.
Because the next victim could be anyone. And their story might not get told in time.
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